Prayers, Please

It's 2am and I am still awake. I can't keep the events of the day from replaying in my mind. Does anyone else look back on a conversation and see the many things that could have or should have been said? I do.

Today, I met with my apartment manager over issues with our apartment. We have been working with them for months over structural issues. I went to her to be honest about how I felt about the circumstances surrounding our move-in and was almost immediately accused of wanting to lawyer-up. I mentioned I was upset that we were unable to see our unit before move-in (after asking twice) and that we were assured it was like the "model" we had been shown, when that is not true. I was told that the apartment looked like the model and that none of this would stand up in a court of law. That may be so, but I never once mentioned wanting to take this to court. I simply wanted to let her know that had I seen the unit ahead of time, I would not have rented it. Regardless of if there was a safety issue or not, I would not have wanted to subject my daughter, who was at the time just starting to walk, to uneven flooring. I simply wanted to share with her the reasons for being unhappy with this unit and to ask respectfully to be let out of the lease. After reading the contract we know of the clause that allows the manager to use discretion and gives them the authority to cancel the contract. Our apartment has issues that no other apartment has (issues that would require us to be displaced to fix), so we were hoping that due to these issues we would be able to ask for our lease contract to be terminated. I wasn't even able to get that far and now I know that this will not happen for us.

I was made to feel like a fool when asking certain questions. I was told that she would have to see for herself the problems I mentioned today as if I were lying (even though the issues first brought to the table were legit and required an engineer). I was told I didn't understand construction when I was practically raised in a construction zone. (That happens when your father is a licensed general contractor and your grandfather and uncle are plumbers.)

I did everything I could do to not scream or cry. Jason and I made a decision tonight based almost completely off of this encounter. We are going to look for a new place. We do not want to live in a place that treats its residents so poorly.

I did not mean to cause trouble. If I could fix the problems myself, I would. These problems were not created by me and are not in my control. I hate moving and I wish I didn't have to.

Worst of all, I feel like I have been made to look like someone I am not.

I long for my house. I wish we could have just transplanted it here in CA. (Hey, the land alone would have made the house value go up. Lol.)

Please pray for me as we continue to go through this process. Please pray that I can show grace and not lose my temper. Please pray that the peace I am beginning to feel knowing there is light at the end of the tunnel, will stay with me until I get there. Pray that I will stand up for myself, but in a way that shows Christ in me and His strength that sustains me.

Thank you!